Thursday, September 14, 2017

Obidience to God

There are so many times when in order to be obedient to God we have to step on someone's toes and ruffle some feathers. I am beginning to fully understand people are creatures of habit and resist change.....yet everything is changing on a daily basis. Here is something I found on obedience to God...
Obedience to God proves our love for Him (1 John 5:2-3), demonstrates our faithfulness to Him (1 John 2:3-6), glorifies Him in the world (1 Peter 2:12), and opens avenues of blessing for us (John 13:17).
Faith is necessary to please God (Hebrews 11:6), and if our faith is genuine and true, we will live a lifestyle characterized by righteousness, modeling the example set for us by Jesus Christ. We obey His commands, not because we have to, but because we want to, because we love Him. We are enabled to obey because, once we believe in Christ and are saved, we are remade. We are not the same people we once were. As Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 5:17, “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”
When we obey the Lord, we can live a life of joy, without shame, rooted deeply in the Lord and confident in our eternal hope. “Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (2 Corinthians 3:17). Our obedience is actually part of our assurance that we truly know God (1 John 2:3).
When God’s children obey their Heavenly Father, He is glorified. Jesus told us that the plan is for others to “see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:16). Of course, performing “good deeds” requires obedience to the One who calls us to good deeds. A Christian’s testimony of holiness is a strong witness that God is at work in the world.
“Blessed are all who fear the LORD, who walk in obedience to him” (Psalm 128:1). The Bible often tells us that God blesses and rewards obedience. James 1:22-25 says, “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. . . . Whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.” See also Psalm 119:1-2.
God is gracious. If we haven’t been living for Him, if we haven’t been following His commandments, if we’ve been living in and for the world, we can be transformed by the blood of Jesus Christ. We can ask God for forgiveness, and He will give it. And He will choose to forget the sin, just as if we had never committed it in the first place. God is glorified when He extends forgiveness, because it is written, “I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds. . . . Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more” (Hebrews 10:16-17).

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Are You Ready? today.. if it were Your Last?

Many times.. we say.. I will tell the person.. the things within my Heart.. tomorrow.. or another day.. I will forgive tomorrow.. or I will do this or do that.. tomorrow.. Or.. I will make things right.. tomorrow.. I will do as the Lord has led me.. tomorrow.. I will Do... Tomorrow.. as Today.. well.. perhaps.. today I do not "feel" like it.. or Im to tired.. or I do not feel well.. today.. or Perhaps.. I just dont want to deal with that.. today.. I will do tomorrow.. those things.. that are in my heart to do or say.. Tomorrow... we are not guaranteed our Tomorrows.. Do and say.. those things You have on Your heart.. do them TODAY.. do not take for granted your next breath or that of anothers.. make things right.. today.. Forgive.. today.. Love .. today.. ask for forgiveness.. Today.. Life.. Do Not take it for granted.. and Today.. I pray.. You give Your FULL heart.. to the Lord.. God ..Your Creator.. giving Your Life through the Son.. Jesus Christ.. He is the Way the Truth and the Life and NO ONE gets to the Father except through the Son being born Again of the Spirit.. will You say Yes to His call.. Today.. Prodigal .. You who have wandered.. will you come back.. Today.. You.. who have compromised.. or set within Your Apathetic Ways.. Oh Luke warm.. dont be fooled.. Please.. Today.. will You go before the Lord.. and ask Him to show You.. if TODAY.. You were to stand before Him.. What would He Say? I love you all.. and I pray.. we all.. get things right.. today.. and not take for granted.. Our tomorrow.. or even... Our Next Breath 

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Have You Forgiven... Really?

Your Heart..
Do You know.. If You do not forgive.. If You Hold an offense against another.. or even your self.. even God perhaps.. You will NOT be forgiven.. the Lord says clearly.. FORGIVE .. or you will not be FORGIVEN Lay down Your Unforgiveness.. for Yourself.. Let It go.. Let the Lords Grace.. Heal Your wounds.. and His Love consume Your heart.. You perhaps forgave.. but perhaps it wasnt from your heart.. it was from your mouth.. Let the Lord take it.. visualize the person.. and put the issue/person within the BLOOD and let it be washed away... from your Heart.. RELEASED
Mark 11:26
Matthew 6:14-15

STORMS.. some thoughts regarding Houston and Florida

So as I sit and I watch.. first Houston..Tx and surrounding..  then the islands.. Cuba and Florida.  The Lord had given.. some dreams of this to come.. others He gave words to.. others.. He burdened deep.. that the Church is still not repenting.. still complacent and Lukewarm   Many perhaps look at Florida and say just as they said to the Prophet Jonah..  saying.. see God did not bring His Judgement..I say perhaps.. the Lord did pull back and show some Mercy and pulled back some.  I do have more to say on another Post regarding.. things noted in these storms.

 "Who knows, God may turn and relent and withdraw His burning anger so that we will not perish." When God saw their deeds, that they turned from their wicked way, then God relented concerning the calamity which He had declared He would bring upon them. And He did not do it. 

Jonah 3:9-10

and Jonah.. became displeased.. I pray that none of the Prophets get angry... as the Lord did show compassion .. Jonah felt he may as well just die.. Probably feeling a bit of a fool that no one would not take him as credible. 

But it greatly displeased Jonah and he became angry. He prayed to the LORD and said, "Please LORD, was not this what I said while I was still in my own country? Therefore in order to forestall this I fled to Tarshish, for I knew that You are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness, and one who relents concerning calamity. Therefore now, O Lord, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live!”
Then the Lord said, “Is it right for you to be angry?”

Jonah 4:1-4

What is a wonderful thing is True repentance can move the heart of God.. Sadly many just cry out to god in days of trouble and also sadly.. thought in joy I say.. many do truly repent.. we see as we look back on times of great tragedy potential tragedy that as time moves on.. people.. forget and become complacent once again.  

The Lord wants to be our first Love..not our after thought that we run to in times of trouble. Sadly.. we go through our lives and focus.. on me myself and I.. well Im entitled.. Right.. After all it is my life..However the Lord has created us to bring Him glory not our own self.   

We run to Him.. when we are in times of the Valley.. but when we are in times of the mountaintop.. we often forget Him.  Also sadly many blame God when they finds themselves in times of trouble but that will be a whole other post. 

As I sit and watch.. man helping man I cannot help but think.. well why Lord do they just now do this.. as prior to lets say.. Houston.. We Your People.. were we out there in our communities.. or within our Family unit of the Church helping one another.. serving as The Lord showed us we must do.  One of the Last acts The Lord did was washing the disciples feet .
So when He had washed their feet, taken His garments, and sat down again, He said to them, “Do you know what I have done to you?  You call Me Teacher and Lord, and you say well, for so I am.  If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet.  For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you. 16 Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him.  If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.

John 13:12-17

Are YOU Daily doing the example the Lord left for us to follow?  Are YOU serving Your brother and Sister In the Lord? Or are You all about.. self.. your agenda.. or are You about the Lords and what HE says for YOU to do..TRULY 

Sunday, August 20, 2017

GIFTS and God Will verses Gods Permissible Will

Sometimes... a Gift.. well .. You need to say no to.. sometimes.. you have accepted and need to return the gift.. as the gift is not from the Father.. but one who.. well.. controls with the gift.. Know all gifts that come in beautiful packages are not from the Lord.. ask the Lord if from Him.. or another... the enemy will really try and get you side tracked.. and well in a web of control.. sometimes.. it is even in a relationship.. all looks so perfect.. all Your prayers answered... but were they... sometimes and was that the LORDS PERFECT will for you.. You must step back and ask the Lord.. is this truly from You... or is it a set up... to take me off track.. or perhaps are you just giving me for what I asked.. and I neglected to ask is this Your Perfect will.. as sometime He will give you what you ask.. being His permissible will.. but far from His Perfect will

Saturday, August 19, 2017

TIME.. SO PRECIOUS

Time .. So precious .. Have you ever stopped to Count the moments wasted .. Time and energy spent on Unforgiveness .. Or blaming someone for not acting as you feel they should .. Time wasted in quarrels .. Time wasted in mindless sitcoms .. Time wasted ..cell phones .. FB .. Moments that are a gift from God .. Time .. Tics away until .. One day .. It stops .. Time .. To be used wisely . Forgive .. Let go .. And do the Fathers will .. Time .. We will be accountable for .. Our time .. wasted on talking about how you feel someone has done you wrong .. If your so busy looking at what you feel they did and not stepping back and checking self .. Time wasted ..don't let yourself and your desires step over the moments you could have shared with another .. To share. .. To love . To hold .. Don't waste your precious time .. Priorities ! don't take that next breath for granted ..Say the I love you while you can .. More important .. Set aside the small issues .. The grudges ..forgive .. And let go .. Show love .. Put that cell down .. Shut down FB .. Shut the tv off .. Listen .. Love .. Forgive .. And make moments count ..for eternity..Let PRIDE Go.. many beautiful relationships are lost.. in PRIDE and SELF.. FIRST AND FOREMOST.. SERVE CHRIST.. BE HIS HANDS.. FEET AND VOICE IN THIS DARK WORLD~God Blees and Keep You..  Marni J~

TIME-TIC TOC.. TIC TOC..

TIME.. TIC TOC.. TIC TOC.. HOW DO YOU SPEND.. YOUR TIME.. ARE YOU READY TO MEET THE ONE.. WHO CREATED YOU.. YOU WERE BORN.. TO BRING HIM GLORY WITH YOUR TIME.. DO YOU? Would you invite the Lord to sit with you.. in ALL you have done ..lets say.. the past month.. how would He find You spent your time.. Your thoughts.. Your words.. Oh Lord Have Mercy upon me and help me to not be a waster of TIME so Blessed to have this Gift.. May I not take it lightly..
Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might; for there is no activity or planning or knowledge or wisdom in Sheol where you are going. I again saw under the sun that the race is not to the swift and the battle is not to the warriors, and neither is bread to the wise nor wealth to the discerning nor favor to men of ability; for time and chance overtake them all. MOREOVER, man does not know his time: like fish caught in a treacherous net and birds trapped in a snare, so the sons of men are ensnared at an evil time when it suddenly falls on them.
Ecclesiastes 9:10-12

Friday, August 18, 2017

ARE YOU A PART OF THE DISCORD .. OR SPREADING GOSSIP OR LIES

Sometimes we just run off half calked... running in the wind.. with information we have not even checked out the validity to.  When we do that some times we are spreading the enemies lies.. or perhaps even discord.. Sometimes it is not something.. even if Truth the Lord wants us to be a part in the sharing.  Sometimes it is just something for us to take note to.  Sometimes.. Well sometimes it seems truth.. it is ever so close.. however remember.. a little bit of Leaven. Leavens the whole lump Galatians 5:9

Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump of dough?  1 Corinthians 5:6

Ensure before You share things.. You pray for wisdom.. as some of you are sharing.. gibberish..and lies.. not everything on you tube is valid..not every written article ..is true.. and if you cant verify.. the source.. sometimes its just better.. to not share what you dont truly know.. to be TRUTH.. as that is same as gossip..spreading.. things.. that you should not.. spread..

 For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder.  2 Corinthians 12:20

Do not spread false reports. Do not help a guilty person by being a malicious witness.  Exodus 23:1

 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.
James 1:26.

Some times.. We just need to quit being so nosey.. sometimes we are so nosey.. because we want to Control.. and we dont like..not knowing.. everything.. even when it isnt relevant for us to know.. Sometimes.. we are that way.. so we dont have to... well.. look at our own self.. its easier to try to "control" those around us.. instead of letting go..of the Control.. within Us.. Sometimes the Lord is rat a tat tatting upon on door to our own heart.. saying Give up that CONTROL its a form..of witchcraft.. hmmm (manipulation, domination, intimidation.. (forms of control) , Child of God.. Let the Lord.. deliver You.. let it go..let it go..let it go! ~marni~j~j~

Thursday, August 17, 2017

FORGIVENESS

 ... I truly had to walk in this.. and learn it.. I thought I had forgiven.. some things and those of my past.. and the Lord showed me I had not.. and actually each offense was like a spider web.. with more than one person or offense attached.. was really deep.. as with each.. there was much and many to forgive.. and usually my ownself included.. even if it was that I allowed it.. or made a choice which caused it... DEEP healing came.. and then I remember after visualizing each thing the Lord brought to me.. and placing within His blood.. and watching it be washed away.. well.. then I felt a deep pressure on my chest and Im thinking and saying to the Lord.. wow.. so.. we go through that deep healing and now your going to kill me.. lol.. and then the pressure slowly came off my chest it was as if His Hand was on my chest and slowly coming off.. and then He spoke and said... Now that is what you were carrying.. and had no idea of.. wowza.. POWERFUL AND FREEING..
ReplyJust now
Manage

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

ARE YOU LUKEWARM

WORD FROM.. AN X LUKEWARM HEART.. I have been told that im a bit.. intense.. well that I am.. some say im well.. a 10 or more.. but.. I know when I have been in my walk with the Lord.. and I... wasnt.. I had become.. a bit.. to comfy.. and used excuses as to why.. I wasnt always running to the House of the Lord.. or to His word.. I found I wasnt .. out there sharing the Lord with others.. as I once had.. well.. that would have been a bit hypocritical though.. as my life wasnt burning for revival any more.. I wasnt much different that the world.. It appeared there was a time..many years back.. though my heart loved God.. I had.. left my first love and crowded Him out.. with.. other things.. from my children.. to tv to my job .. and compromise began to set in.. without me even noting it.. though.. I then began to get.. depressed.. and angry at my self.. as I disgusted myself.. I dont care what my x spouse was doing.. what the children were doing.. what was happening at my job.. it was ME.. I had control of my walk with the Lord.. if I had grown and got into the deeper things of God.. that was on me.. and I wanted to just spit my own self out of my mouth.. tragIcally  that is what the Lord said about me during tha time too.. as it appeared I had become.. lukewarm.. though no one else knew it.. but I did.. and what I had to do was be honest.. about ME and quit focusing on me me me me and I.. and stop being lazy with my faith.. I was missing it..and even if it wasnt taught within the Church.. which many its not. it is in the WORD and the Holy Spirit would have taught me.. but I was to busy.. with my Flesh.. wow.. Thank you Lord for dropping me to my knees.. and teaching me.. placing a fire within my belly again.. that was just like when I was transformed.. 29 years ago.. `marni~j~j 
written 12/15/16

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

UNFORGIVENESS...

What Unforgiveness do You Hold within Your Heart..
Do You know.. If You do not forgive.. If You Hold an offense against another.. or even your self.. even God perhaps.. You will NOT be forgiven.. the Lord says clearly.. FORGIVE .. or you will not be FORGIVEN Lay down Your Unforgiveness.. for Yourself.. Let It go.. Let the Lords Grace.. Heal Your wounds.. and His Love consume Your heart.. You perhaps forgave.. but perhaps it wasnt from your heart.. it was from your mouth.. Let the Lord take it.. visualize the person.. and put the issue/person within the BLOOD and let it be washed away... from your Heart.. RELEASED
Mark 11:26
Matthew 6:14-15

A Deep Change in the Atmosphere

My Spirit is so so unsettled.. We must awaken.. we must repent.. we must stop all this hoopla.. and Bring the Lord God in.. Open the door Church He is knock knock knocking.. He doesnt want a performance.. He doesnt want a joke.. He doesnt care about your theater seats.. or your stage.. He doesnt care about the size of the building.. or all the festivities.. God Cares about Repentance.. Truth of the Word.. and the Church equipping the body to do His work.. for His Glory.. Not for Your own!!! Can you not feel it in the Atmosphere.. The Lord is speaking.. can you not hear.. Oh Who ever has ears let Him hear.. who ever has eyes let them see.. What the Spirit of the Lord is saying.. Hearken the Voice of the Lord.. take Heed..

IN THE STORM

In the storm is where we get refined..if we stop fighting it..murmuring and complaining.. and start.. truly just praising the Lord.. knowing His word is truth.. and even when You cant see the answers.. If your His Child You know He would never lie to you..and His word says He will use all things together for good.. for those who are called according to his Purpose.. and He also says..Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.… but Remember You must Let it have its perfect result.. so that then you will be perfect and complete..
How Is it You respond in a trial.. in the storms of life.. do you run from them.. do you shove them under the rug so to speak.. not dealing with them.. do you complain.. and murmur .. or do You do as the Word of the Lord says.. that is how you become refined.. ~marni~j~j~

Friday, August 11, 2017

DREAMS FROM THE LORD PRESS THROUGH.. DONT QUIT..

A Dream given to me by the Lord I personally have had a few dreams which the Lord is showing.. first.. the enemy is coming to our home front.. and  also that the enemy is trying to get those the Lord has called.. to be silent..  
One night I was laying in a DEEP SLEEP and I felt Danger.. I knew I must not only wake up.. but get up and flee... I truly pushed through my dream which really was showing.. I was pushing through obstacles..deep obstacles and that I could not give up.. had to push beyond what I was capable and call unto the Lord in My Spirit for His Help.. I kept hearing PRESS THROUGH DONT QUIT.. YOU MUST PRESS THROUGH  Needing to ensure I was close to the Lord and did not fall back.. I had to fight my way to the top.. I tried with all in me to scream but only a squeal came out.. and I finally pushed through and Ran.. running to my door and opened it.. and there stood a "man" no face" just a man down on the walkway beneath my Porch.. and He said I GOT YOU... well I must admit that shook me up a bit.. I truly at that point in time didnt know if the Lord was warning me of things to come or if He was saying the enemy was at my door.. In other words in my inner circle.  Now both have a profound statement with me.    
So with that said... first there is a WORD for all who walk with the Lord.. Watch who is in Your inner circle..  Watch who Your telling Your heart to.  Watch who Your running to.. Watch and listen and follow the Lord as You could be the very one causing your own self to be in Danger.. Yes danger.  What .. You think if you walk closely with the Lord the enemy is not going to try and trip you up and take you down.  He will come at you anyway he sees is vulnerable..
Another Dream I had.. was sleeping.. in my dream and I flet.. I could not breathe as if someone had their hand on my mouth.. keeping it clamped down.. and I pressed.. and pushed and fought.. and it was truly as if I was fighting in the spiritual realm.. pushing hard to get up and get released from this so that I could Breath.. pushing pushing pushing.. and then finally.. breaking through as if a fish out of water.. and taking a big gulp of air.. and in this I found the Lord was saying to me that many were trying to silence me.. to keep me from speaking the word He has called me to speak.. because the word.. they did not want to hear.. as they would  rather.. lay within their compromise and have their ears tickled..

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Will the Church Awaken?

As this day comes to a close.. well I have much on my mind.. as I watch the events of the world.. the Nation.. watching the events in North Korea.. I watch the Church as for the most part they seem to be silent.. in a slumber.. without a clue.. Just like in the days of Noah.  They are running here and there and having their fun filled activities.. so many unaware of the sign of the times.
It seems there are more who are of the "world" who are awake than those within the Church.  When I go into the church to hear the word.. I have not found one local that is even speaking on the end times and repentance.  So many are in this false sense of all is ok..   They feel they moved the hand of God to bring Trump in and all is well..   Not even thinking well ok Yes God did bring Trump in but was that for a reprieve to give us another 4 years.  Another 4 years of what.  The same thing in fact even more so.. killing more babies and now not just making it legal to wed man with man woman with woman.. but now.. well we are pushing the markers.. and teaching within the schools.  Kindergarten.. that one can be what ever they choose.  Or not.. and now it is also within the military they are saying they have these rights.. Really.. when I went in the military you did not have any rights.  You were there to serve your country and even one with flat feet was not allowed to serve but now it is what... transgender and sex changes at the expense of our Government and we truly think God is holding His hand from coming down upon this Nation.  We were a nation that was founded upon the Principles of God and the 10 commandments and now if You speak about god many want to threaten a legal action against you... oh but yes.... God bless this Nation.. No.. that is not how God works He cannot  work up against His word.  He is God.. He is a God of Love but He is a just God.  I suppose many just do not want to look back and see how well He was grieved he even created man... and destroyed all but Noah and His family who had no genetic flaws.  And Sodom and Gomorrah..  We forget and sadly many think Because Jesus Came and Died for Our sins and we have grace... That what.. Grace will cover this??

Gods Hand in the Operating room

Well here I am.. in a position I had never been in before.. Im not taking about the medical procedures.. hospitals.. etc.. no.. Im talking about.. wow.. the HEART.. with all the Lord had walked me through in my Medical healing..the HEART was a curve ball for me.. so.. here I find myself on this very early morning.. having things.. stuck in me.. and people.. telling me of the procedure.. what to expect etc.. I remember the head nurse.. so kind.. so peaceful.. well as they all were.. she leaned down.. and she spoke softly to me.. and I will never forget here words.. she said "dont worry.. we are ALL believers on this team and each morning we give our hands to the Lord.. and ask that He bring those to us.. and to do His will through our hands.. as we all give Him glory and know that.. without Him.. our job is.. just a job" Such peace.. I had.. the Surgeon .. Dr Griffin.. was then speaking softly to me.. telling me each step.. as he was to do them.. He told me that I would feel some pain.. as he stuck the needle in.. I did not.. he told me.. I would feel.. well things that.. I was so blessed.. I did not.. The Lords Hand was upon me.. He took any of the pain that I truly should have felt.. and He gave me His peace.. Peace that was not of this world.... The time within the room.. did not seem long.. and when completed.. the Dr leaned down and said.. wow I did not expect that.. He said no stent is needed.. no surgery is needed.. he said.. we normally do not see heart attacks.. with this condition.. as usually it is found prior to this.. and dealt with.  when someone makes it to this stage.. they usually have died..This situation is where my own arteries.. were not clogged by plaque but were spazming for sometime.. cutting off the blood flow to theheart.. As this had been going on for a couple of months.. well.. it had damaged the heart and at the time of my heart attack I had 28% of my heart function.. The Cardiologist placed me on 4 meds.. all that dealt with blood pressure but one imparticular that helped the heart to function and to well.. rebuild itself so to speak... I remember telling him Im sure I wont be on these Long.. as well.. I know the Lords hand will be upon this healing... This condition is for a better term .. called a Broken Heart.. normally is caught before the Heart Attack and treated... and when at the Heart Attack that is normally concluded in Death.. Oh But God..

Saturday, January 28, 2017

A Heart.. Broken...

It has been to long since I have been away from my blogging.. I will attempt to share.. the many things which have gone on.. One I will mention is October 17th 2015 I woke.. early with pressure.. Pressure I could not explain.. I took a pain pill and attempted to go back to sleep.  the Holy Spirit nudged my heart to send an email to my mom.. To say to her that I was sorry for disconnecting a call a week or so earlier.. We had been talking.. talking of the things I had been going through and most recently a very painful break up with the man I had thought I was going to marry.  One that I had just made a trip to.. but.. it ended in.. such pain.  I will revert to that later.. while on the phone with my mom that evening.. discussing the sale of my home .. the place and family I was now living with.. My eldest son.. and the man who broke my heart in a million pieces.. I just could not think of these things any more.. I could not talk.. I was weeping so hard.. that I had to say.. I need to go and disconnect the call.  sadly I found out from my sister.. via a text that my mom had held this against me. Had taken it personal.. but it truly was not.. so here.. very early this day.. I was moved to say.. I am sorry mom it wasnt personal. I love you. I said no more .. wasnt even led to share the pressure I felt upon my chest.. So laying back.. I tried to drift to sleep once again but.. I woke again.. quickly.. the pressure had gotten worse.. now I had this strange ache in the left shoulder.. I said.. "Lord?" and I heard in my spirit.. Heart attack.. go to the hospital.. so.. I had already gotten dressed when I woke the first time.. So.. I got up got my shoes on and gathered my trash from upstairs and slowly walked down the 3 flights of stairs to where my friend was.. and my Maggie.. my beloved Maggie.. my best friend.. My dog of 10 years.. faithful.  I went to my friend and said.. "Alice I need to go to the hospital" I did not own a vehicle at this time as I had sold it to move to the state with the man I had thought.. I was to marry.. anyway.. Alice said.. ok.. I will go brush my teeth.. I had a little chat with my Maggie.. and told her.. Mama may be gone for a bit.. and how much I loved her.. to be good and take care of Alice and Lorenz  then off to the hospital we went.. I sent word to my friend Jenifer and told her headed to the hospital.. I said it is my heart.. oh before I left I had posted on FB for prayer saying.. on the way to hospital.. while my friend was chatting with me she had asked the Lord show me my Angel James.. who I will share the story of later.. funny I asked the Lord the same thing.. my friend did not know.. So Alice drives to the hospital right up to cardiac unit.. Funny I did not mention to her it was my heart.  Inside we find no one in line.. the lady at the desk turns her back to us and says she needed to clean the counter area up first.. I said.. "Lord" I need your help" and then out of the door came a nurse and she called me back.. though I had not been signed in yet.. she sat me down took my pressure.. It was way up.. 200/104 my friend.. said her .. Oh dears.. and I looked at her and said Alice I need you to be calm.. I do not need to be stressed.. so if your back here I need that ok.. Then the nurse did an EKG and another nure came through the door to the back.. and grabbed it.. taking it back with her.. within minutes.. not even.. I find a wheel chair is being put beneath me and I am now signing the registration papers etc.. off to the back we go and I find a room with a team of people in it.. all busy.. doing their tasks they are to do.. no chaos.. no real talking.. just each doing as they are trained to do on this team.. I find that I am being undressed.. given aspirin and nitro under the tongue.. .. IV's inserted.. blood drawn.. This team was like a well oiled car.. an engine.. that all the parts.. worked well together.. each doing the task they were called to do to make this.. "orchestra" work and play well together.. beautiful music.. I just kept thinking.. wow.. Peace.. I looked up and saw the man who appeared to be the Cardiologist/surgeon.. discussing with another.. leaned up against the wall.. looking very serious.. I heard some of it.. and well it sounded.. like he apparently felt.. a very "odd" challenge.. not certain which test.. was giving him the info.. perhaps all of them combined.. he then walked over to me and leaned down.. and in a soft peaceful voice.. one sure and steady.. he said.. "you are in the middle of a large heart attack and I would like to do a cath.. while in that procedure I will either do a balloon or if not able.. open heart" I said well how important is it that we do this.. and when do you want to do this.. "cath" this time when He looked at me.. I saw the face and deep eyes of James.. My Angel.. and he spoke so sure and in command.. the words were.. very important and NOW immediately..not a moment later.. So alrighty then.. I said.. lets go.. and I handed my phone to Alice.. asking her to please contact my sons and tell them.. I have so much to share on .. my sons..so I pray you all are led to follow this story.. I will be reverting back in time.. and jumping ahead.. as the Lord leads me.. it is a story.. of deep healing.. one of which I am going through even still.. as the Lord continues to sift me.. to mold me.. and to break the chains.. which held me.. as Our God uses ALL things together for good.. for those who LOVE Him and are called according to His purpose... so.. this post I will end with.. my words to my friend.. tell my sons.. I love them... I love you Alice.. tell my Maggie.. I wont be coming home.. tonight.. </3

 wow has it been to long since I have posted.  I will do my best as led to catch up on here.. as now we are in 2022 and many things the Lord...